Counsellor Vanessa, 48, Sydney struggled with binge eating disorder (BED) from 11 years of age. Vanessa believes her maternal cousin has also struggled with BED, suggesting a possible genetic link to the mental illness.
BED involves episodes of consuming unusually large amounts of food, and a loss of control.1,2 The illness may involve sporadic fasting and repetitive diets, as well as weight gain.3 Feelings of guilt, disgust and depression often follow a binge-eating episode.1,2,4
Originally from Germany, Vanessa was diagnosed with BED in 2013, at 36 years of age, after relocating to Sydney, where she saw a psychologist specialising in eating disorders.
By then, she had been battling BED symptoms for 25 years.
However, Vanessa had struggled with disordered thoughts and behaviours for as long as she could remember. She always felt food and eating had an addictive quality and found she was constantly overeating to the point of being too full, even at a young age. After being told at 11 years of age to watch her weight, she entered a cycle of restriction.
Influenced by messages from school and the media in her early teens, Vanessa developed a deep-seated belief: she felt a powerful, addictive urge to eat, coupled with an overwhelming pressure to restrict.
After seeking help from a counsellor, Vanessa felt distraught as she confronted the obsessive thoughts about food that had consumed her life, eroding her self-esteem and trust in herself.
During her recovery, Vanessa was also diagnosed with anxiety, and more recently, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD) – conditions that often co-occur with eating disorders.
Today, Vanessa’s BED has been “healed”. Entering recovery 16 years ago, she has not engaged in any binge eating behaviours for more than 11 years. What helped her recovery most is working with peers in a group environment, as well as various therapeutic interventions over the years. Drawing on her journey, she now works as a counsellor helping others living with BED, substance use disorder and trauma.
Vanessa has chosen to participate in the Eating Disorders Genetics Initiative 2 (EDGI2) study – the world’s largest genetic investigation of eating disorders ever performed, that aims to identify the hundreds of genes that influence a person’s risk of developing the complex, devastating illnesses of anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge-eating disorder and Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), to improve treatment, and ultimately, save lives.
EDGI2 follows the ground-breaking advances made in the initial EDGI investigation and collaborative Anorexia Nervosa Genetics Initiative (ANGI), in which researchers, including the EDGI team, identified the first eight regions of the genome for anorexia nervosa that implicate both psychiatric and metabolic causes for the condition.
This was a total surprise and a finding that urgently needs replication and expansion to fully understand the pathways that lead to this debilitating condition – hence the need for a much larger sample size and participants who have experienced ALL eating disorders, which is the aim of the EDGI2.
This is Vanessa’s story.
Vanessa began showing signs of an eating disorder at a very young age, and by 11, she was already struggling with BED.
“I’ve had binge eating issues my whole life involving a constant urge to overeat. Compulsive eating became a way to self-soothe,” said Vanessa.
Things got worse when, at 11, someone told Vanessa to watch her weight or she’d get fat.
“That moment triggered a constant inner battle between craving and control,” Vanessa explained.
As a teen, Vanessa skipped social events, due to struggling with her body image.
“I’d hold back from going out because I didn’t feel comfortable in my body.
“I isolated myself to binge eat, and the worse it got, the more I did it in secret,” Vanessa said.
“This addiction consumed me mentally. It affected everything – my self-esteem, because I hated how I looked, and my self-trust, because I couldn’t control myself around food.”
Over time, Vanessa sought counselling and was placed on a 12-step eating disorder treatment program.
“Peer support was crucial. I followed a food plan with a sponsor, and checked in daily with exactly what I planned to eat.
“That commitment and accountability made a huge difference to me,” Vanessa said.
Now in recovery, Vanessa relies on the tools she’s learned to stay on track.
“Stress management is key for me. When I’m overwhelmed, I slow down, rest, exercise, meditate, and connect with friends – especially those in recovery.”
Today, Vanessa has a powerful message for other Australians living with an eating disorder.
“Don’t go through it alone. Seeking help is crucial.
“I struggled in silence for years, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone,” said Vanessa.
“I truly hope that by sharing my story, it can benefit others.”
To volunteer for, or learn more about the Eating Disorders Genetics Initiative 2, head to edgi2.org.au or email edgi2@qimrb.edu.au.
Should you suspect you, or a loved one, may be living with an eating disorder, speak to your local healthcare practitioner without delay, or head to insideoutinstitute.org.au to complete their online screener and assessment, and to access more information and professional support.
Australian professional patient support services offering 24/7 helpline services include:
- Butterfly National Helpline: 1800 334 673
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
- LifeLine: 13 11 14
- Men’s Line Australia: 1300 78 99 78
- Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
